Four Christmases

We (De and I) went to see Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon's holiday movie, "Four Christmases" last Thursday, to celebrate De's birthday.

In the movie, the Brad (Vaughn) and Kate (Witherspoon) celebrate Christmas each year by traveling someplace exotic to make life better for the idignious people of wherever they end up.

Or at least that's what they tell their families. "You can't spell 'families' without 'lies'" they say. In reality, they couple vacations at a tropical resort and waits out the holiday madness with an umbrella drink in hand. As foolproof as their plan seems, things go awry when San Francisco fog grounds outbound flights, and things get even worse when a reporter and camera crew interview Brad and Kate, spoiling the ruse.

To save ruining the movie any further, I'll just say that the story plays out with scene after scene of embarassing revelations, awkward moments, and more than one gross-out gag.

This year, De and I will be celebrating four Christmases of our own. The number is actually more like seven, but only (only!) four are actually on the 25th. I did the math, and if we get up at 6:00, and come home at 11:00 PM, that'll be 16 hours, roughly four at each party, including driving time. And while our driving isn't too bad this year, last year it was Ripon to Manteca, back to Ripon, then to Stockton, then finally back home.

And I wish it were just as simple as saying, "hey, look, we're just NOT going to be able to make it..." but it's not. Two of the four celebrations are with our parents, and the other two are grandparents. None are parties we're willing to miss, and the grandparent parties are so big it's almost impossible to change the date.

So when you're relaxing on the couch, playing with your new toys, think of us, running ragged between parties.

"I don't know what to tell you Audrey, except that it's the holidays... and we're ALL miserable."

-Beverly D'Angelo as Ellen Griswold, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation